By Deni Todorović
Hello Darlings! My name is Deni, my pronouns are They/Them and I identify as Non-Binary/Trans and Gay/Queer. I’m a proud LGBTQI+ activist and content creator and I’m so happy to be celebrating International Non-Binary People’s Day with you.
The human experience is my greatest love. It’s layered, it’s complex and no two humans are the same. It is so important that we all understand the non-binary experience so please have a look at these five tips to step up as an ally of ours.
- The term non-binary is reflective of any human that identifies beyond the traditional, binary construct of gender. Neither male or female, rather ‘non-binary’. Whilst this language is new, the non-binary community is not and there is evidence of non-binary folks that dates as far back as indigenous cultures.
- You’ll often hear enby folks refer to themselves as ‘trans-non-binary’. This may confuse you at first but transgender by definition is an umbrella term that simply put describes a person who doesn’t identify as the sex they were assigned to birth. Hence non-binary folks fall under the trans umbrella.
- Our pronouns are just our pronouns, they aren’t a preference. Just as homosexuality is not something we choose, neither is gender identity. It’s who we are. We as a community need to be vocal with our pronouns, especially if you’re cis. This does 2 things. The first is that it allows me to respect you for you are and how you identify. Second, by cis folk vocalising their pronouns it provides a safe space for trans folks to do the same.
- Gender identity and sexuality are separate. So whilst I identify as non-binary I am still gay. Just as lesbians, bisexual and pansexual folks can also identify as non-binary. Whilst I and many other enby folks tend to use the term Queer more regularly, my journey of coming out as Gay was one I’m very proud of and will always be a huge part of who I am.
- Put in the work. Continue to self educate. Educate those around you. Be mindful of gender-neutral language and misgendering people but also understand that we are all imperfect humans who will make mistakes, many times over. So a quick correction goes a long way and then we can move on to discussing the new season of All Stars!
Allyship starts with micro-adjustments, if millions of humans make a million small changes – we have the power to ignite true change.
Happy International Non-Binary Day!
Deni Todorović x